"The Italian Americans." Just a few days ago a dear sweet and lovely friend sent me one of those "you know you are ____, if you..) in this case it was Italian American and while I did not recognize any of the things it joked about to be true in my 2nd generation Italian American experience (some I hadn't even heard of before) - I did recognize some very offensive false stereotypes that were on the same level of offensive jokes regarding "black face" and "step n fetch it."
Clyde Haberman of the New York Times composed one paragraph that may put my feelings in perspective: "WHAT do you think would happen if a white director went to Harlem and shot a film portraying blacks almost exclusively as gangsters, dopers and sex-obsessed stupes? How long would it take before Al Sharpton or Kweisi Mfume put protesters outside movie theaters? One minute or two?"
I took no offensive from my beloved friend who I knew just did not realize what has been shared all over the internet as funny rather than what it truly is and she would have never hurt anyone. Unfortunately some Italian Americans have woven a gregarious shell around themselves and even they laugh at it as a joke, but among themselves, hopefully in an environment where they know there is no truth to it. But this is "let it go" brush is off attitude is fading as more Italian-Americans like me use such "jokes" and stereotypes to educate.
We, Italian-Americans, some of whom have been here at least as long as other European immigrants, must take a stand at this sort of defamation - stereotypes and prejudices must stop - we are, or were, in the same boats, perhaps some rode in better boats but when we stepped onto the shore, both poor and rich, we all stepped into the same ark, even bringing some of our own native north vs. south ignorant prejudices as well.
My parents did their best to protect us from this insanity and for the most part we were able to detach our own "selves" from this as we thought it made for good TV and Movies - we never thought people would takes these fabrications as truths. For all Italians to be mobsters was just as silly as all Cowboys being gun toting train and bank robbers.
For My mother and Father their experience was far removed from the stereotypical model as well. My parents did not talk much about the prejudice directly and we had friends from all over the word in every shade of the rainbow.We grew up calling an old family friend of Irish descent "uncle," his own father was my Grandfather's best friend and business partner at the turn of the 19/20th century.
As I got older I started to realize just how much my parents protected us. In some cases the protection also alienated us. We were not taught Italian, we were, and looked for all intents and purposes, like any other American family. After my Father died, when I was still a teen, my Mother would begin to confide small examples of what she had been through. I could see the pain in her eyes (but she did her best to hide it) when she told me that during WWII she dropped her Italian last name and adopted an "American" name (she never told me what the "American" name was) or she would not have been able to get a job. She had a porcelain complexion, built like 5' tall petite China Doll, her hair a gorgeous shade of Red that shone with golden highlights in the sun and her eyes the clearest emerald green. She was exquisite. She had to deny the very ancestry she loved and was able to because she did not look like the "stereotype." She had to sit mum while her colleagues made remarks about "dirty wops and criminal guineas" then go home to her very educated and cultured family.
A few days after I gently educated my dear friend the PBS documentary "The Italian Americans" was showing. I didn't expect much - I saw documentaries like this before, but this proved to be different. This opened my own Italian American eyes: I now realized why my mother would tell us "marry an Italian man, he will respect you, he will never call you names or think less of you." All her daughters married non-Italians, and from what I know, not one of us ever experienced anti-Italian prejudice in our homes .
I learned a lot, and I now understand more, just what my adored Parents and Grandparents went through. I cried.
I highly recommend you watch this film, it will dispel all false notions you thought about Italian-Americans.
Newsdays Vergne Gay gave the "superb" series a "Grade A": "I sampled only the first hour, which is superb and -- if indicative of the other three -- means this series is something of a triumph, too. Maggio has discovered the unfamiliar in something some of us thought was already familiar, and by doing so, does help dispel embedded stereotypes while enriching an already rich heritage."
(Newsday Review of "The Italian-Americans")
Watch the first episode here: The Italian Americans PBS
Clyde Haberman of the New York Times composed one paragraph that may put my feelings in perspective: "WHAT do you think would happen if a white director went to Harlem and shot a film portraying blacks almost exclusively as gangsters, dopers and sex-obsessed stupes? How long would it take before Al Sharpton or Kweisi Mfume put protesters outside movie theaters? One minute or two?"
I took no offensive from my beloved friend who I knew just did not realize what has been shared all over the internet as funny rather than what it truly is and she would have never hurt anyone. Unfortunately some Italian Americans have woven a gregarious shell around themselves and even they laugh at it as a joke, but among themselves, hopefully in an environment where they know there is no truth to it. But this is "let it go" brush is off attitude is fading as more Italian-Americans like me use such "jokes" and stereotypes to educate.
We, Italian-Americans, some of whom have been here at least as long as other European immigrants, must take a stand at this sort of defamation - stereotypes and prejudices must stop - we are, or were, in the same boats, perhaps some rode in better boats but when we stepped onto the shore, both poor and rich, we all stepped into the same ark, even bringing some of our own native north vs. south ignorant prejudices as well.
My parents did their best to protect us from this insanity and for the most part we were able to detach our own "selves" from this as we thought it made for good TV and Movies - we never thought people would takes these fabrications as truths. For all Italians to be mobsters was just as silly as all Cowboys being gun toting train and bank robbers.
For My mother and Father their experience was far removed from the stereotypical model as well. My parents did not talk much about the prejudice directly and we had friends from all over the word in every shade of the rainbow.We grew up calling an old family friend of Irish descent "uncle," his own father was my Grandfather's best friend and business partner at the turn of the 19/20th century.
As I got older I started to realize just how much my parents protected us. In some cases the protection also alienated us. We were not taught Italian, we were, and looked for all intents and purposes, like any other American family. After my Father died, when I was still a teen, my Mother would begin to confide small examples of what she had been through. I could see the pain in her eyes (but she did her best to hide it) when she told me that during WWII she dropped her Italian last name and adopted an "American" name (she never told me what the "American" name was) or she would not have been able to get a job. She had a porcelain complexion, built like 5' tall petite China Doll, her hair a gorgeous shade of Red that shone with golden highlights in the sun and her eyes the clearest emerald green. She was exquisite. She had to deny the very ancestry she loved and was able to because she did not look like the "stereotype." She had to sit mum while her colleagues made remarks about "dirty wops and criminal guineas" then go home to her very educated and cultured family.
A few days after I gently educated my dear friend the PBS documentary "The Italian Americans" was showing. I didn't expect much - I saw documentaries like this before, but this proved to be different. This opened my own Italian American eyes: I now realized why my mother would tell us "marry an Italian man, he will respect you, he will never call you names or think less of you." All her daughters married non-Italians, and from what I know, not one of us ever experienced anti-Italian prejudice in our homes .
I learned a lot, and I now understand more, just what my adored Parents and Grandparents went through. I cried.
I highly recommend you watch this film, it will dispel all false notions you thought about Italian-Americans.
Newsdays Vergne Gay gave the "superb" series a "Grade A": "I sampled only the first hour, which is superb and -- if indicative of the other three -- means this series is something of a triumph, too. Maggio has discovered the unfamiliar in something some of us thought was already familiar, and by doing so, does help dispel embedded stereotypes while enriching an already rich heritage."
(Newsday Review of "The Italian-Americans")
Watch the first episode here: The Italian Americans PBS
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