Deserving the Arthur Ashe Courage Award

Caitlyn Jenner will get The Arthur Ashe Courage Award but I can think of many others who deserve it much more. People who I met as I enjoyed dancing at the clubs with my 2 of my best friends, one has passed on due to AIDS and the other moved to Dallas where he can live a normal life with his beloved partner and without prejudice. A decade or two ago there were many transgender people in Nashville seeking the nightlife where they could be themselves.  Courage and bravery defined them. One lovely lady stands out in my mind and I will never forget her. I jumped into the big dance floor, a sea of dancing humans and after two shots of Vodka I was in utter release to the pounding music. I decided to take a rest and then I saw her standing there. She was over six feet tall and the high heels made her taller. She was a big lady with broad shoulder yet she was as classic as a 1950's TV housewife with no doubt of her femininity. Her clothing was impeccable, in a 50's-60's fashion, a skirt below the knees with matching Jacket and silk blouse. A Jackie O hat upon her head, she demurely held her not too big rectangular bag by its handle in her white gloved hands. On her face, beneath the makeup, she looked longingly for her prince. A prince who didn't come that night. I was drawn to her like a magnet. As I approached her face lit up with a smile. We found a place to sit where we could talk and we chatted for a couple of hours. Her confidences were funny, joyful and at time heartbreaking. But they were all brave and courageous. I don't remember her name and I long ago lost her contact but she lives vividly in my heart.  Beautiful souls like her are the people who deserve the award for courage. 

http://m.nashvillescene.com/nashville/losing-the-connection/Content?oid=1191391

Happy Birthday to My Beautiful Mother (1917-1993)

Happy Birthday Mommy!  

Rose M. Garifo (May 28, 1917 – 1993)

My beautiful Mother, this photo was taken when she was 62, same age I am now. She had five children and a busy husband. She managed the house, the children, the activities, and later an ailing husband - yet when we got home from school she was in a dress and moderate heels - this continued even after Daddy died although she did finally give in to pantsuits in the 70’s; she was a powerful 5' tall woman.  She drove us everywhere and, as a friend who knew her well recently said,: "had the patience of a saint".  My Father's illness depleted our finances but that did not stop her from raising her children as planned, the budget was tighter, she did without so we could have what we needed. She went into the work force as my Father became disabled, he died just a scant few years later at age 59 in 1972, and she was 52. Grieving but undaunted, her strength unimaginable, she supported her last three children (the youngest 12), got them through school, saw them married and supported me through my divorce and to finish my college education. The photo was taken in Nashville Tn in 1979, where she accompanied me to put down a foundation so I could start a new life with my children the following year.

She was so beautiful with bright emerald eyes and lovely rich red hair; one of my cousins commented on that same photo I referred to "Your mom was beautiful both inside and out." She was always singing, often humorously, her favorite while cleaning was "If I had the wings of an Angel", another time she would make us laugh by acting silly and singing “I don’t care, I don’t care.”  One time she slipped and broke her ankle while bringing our dog, Ervin, a meaty bone.  When we heard her screams we rushed to her but as we were getting her off the floor to the couch, she began chuckling through her tears and pain and said "ungrateful, dog, here I am screaming in pain and she just continues chewing the bone! That’s gratitude for you!"  She played the piano beautifully - and gracefully, but she did everything gracefully.  She loved to dance, which she did so wonderfully, so it was particularly painful when she diagnosed with Olivopontocerebellar Atrophy, a debilitating disease, when she was 67 in 1984. She was totally bedbound by the late 1980's. My beloved Mother transitioned from this life in 1993 at the age of 76 when her weakened body could not fight off the pneumonia she had developed. She was a bright, beautiful, kind and humorous light extinguished way too early. She selflessly donated her body to science so that maybe others could benefit from her experience, of course that left the family with no grave to place flowers on special days, however I have my memories. 

May is a month that is both poignant and joyous for me, she was born on May 28th and of course Mother's Day, it is the month when her favorite Lilac bushes were in full bloom, a month when memories come flooding back and, like all days, when I wish I could tell her once more just how much I love her while looking into her loving eyes. I miss you Mommy, I love you Mommy. Happy Birthday.

"The Italian Americans"

"The Italian Americans." Just a few days ago a dear sweet and lovely friend sent me one of those "you know you are ____, if you..) in this case it was Italian American and while I did not recognize any of the things it joked about to be true in my 2nd generation Italian American experience (some I hadn't even heard of before) - I did recognize some very offensive false stereotypes that were on the same level of offensive jokes regarding "black face" and "step n fetch it."
Clyde Haberman of the New York Times composed one paragraph that may put my feelings in perspective:  "WHAT do you think would happen if a white director went to Harlem and shot a film portraying blacks almost exclusively as gangsters, dopers and sex-obsessed stupes? How long would it take before Al Sharpton or Kweisi Mfume put protesters outside movie theaters? One minute or two?" 
  
I took no offensive from my beloved friend who I knew just did not realize what has been shared all over the internet as funny rather than what it truly is and she would have never hurt anyone. Unfortunately some Italian Americans have woven a gregarious shell around themselves and even they laugh at it as a joke, but among themselves, hopefully in an environment where they know there is no truth to it. But this is "let it go" brush is off attitude is fading as more Italian-Americans like me use such "jokes" and stereotypes to educate.
We, Italian-Americans, some of whom have been here at least as long as other European immigrants, must take a stand at this sort of defamation - stereotypes and prejudices must stop - we are, or were, in the same boats, perhaps some rode in better boats but when we stepped onto the shore, both poor and rich, we all stepped into the same ark, even bringing some of our own native north vs. south ignorant prejudices as well.
My parents did their best to protect us from this insanity and for the most part we were able to detach our own "selves" from this as we thought it made for good TV and Movies - we never thought people would takes these fabrications as truths. For all Italians to be mobsters was just as silly as all Cowboys being gun toting train and bank robbers.
For My mother and Father their experience was far removed from the stereotypical model as well. My parents did not talk much about the prejudice directly and we had friends from all over the word in every shade of the rainbow.We grew up calling an old family friend of Irish descent "uncle," his own father was my Grandfather's best friend and business partner at the turn of the 19/20th century.
As I got older I started to realize just how much my parents protected us. In some cases the protection also alienated us. We were not taught Italian, we were, and looked for all intents and purposes, like any other American family. After my Father died, when I was still a teen, my Mother would begin to confide small examples of what she had been through. I could see the pain in her eyes (but she did her best to hide it) when she told me that during WWII she dropped her Italian last name and adopted an "American" name (she never told me what the "American" name was) or she would not have been able to get a job. She had a porcelain complexion, built like 5' tall petite China Doll, her hair a gorgeous shade of Red that shone with golden highlights in the sun and her eyes the clearest emerald green. She was exquisite. She had to deny the very ancestry she loved and was able to because she did not look like the "stereotype." She had to sit mum while her colleagues made remarks about "dirty wops and criminal guineas" then go home to her very educated and cultured family.
A few days after I gently educated my dear friend the PBS documentary "The Italian Americans" was showing. I didn't expect much - I saw documentaries like this before, but this proved to be different. This opened my own Italian American eyes: I now realized why my mother would tell us "marry an Italian man, he will respect you, he will never call you names or think less of you." All her daughters married non-Italians, and from what I know, not one of us ever experienced anti-Italian prejudice in our homes .
I learned a lot, and I now understand more, just what my adored Parents and Grandparents went through. I cried.
I highly recommend you watch this film, it will dispel all false notions you thought about Italian-Americans.

Newsdays Vergne Gay gave the "superb" series a "Grade A": "I sampled only the first hour, which is superb and -- if indicative of the other three -- means this series is something of a triumph, too. Maggio has discovered the unfamiliar in something some of us thought was already familiar, and by doing so, does help dispel embedded stereotypes while enriching an already rich heritage."
(Newsday Review of "The Italian-Americans")

Watch the first episode here: The Italian Americans PBS 

Catherine Mayer author of "Charles: Heart of a King" Ill-informed?

So Catherine Mayer writes an unauthorized 2 star rated "biography" of Prince Charles but instead of doing her best to remain objective and let the Prince's words and actions speak for themselves allowing the readers to come to their own conclusions she turns her work into a rag by weaving in her own conclusions.
I looked up her credentials. Not very impressive but worthy of an intern, many of her "articles" are her opinion.
Let's look at what other small amount of info is on this woman - based on the bad reviews of her writing I am abstaining from calling her an author - she is a american, married to a Marxist, she states she was a Republican who is now a monarchist - whatever the heck that means - so her political background seems somewhat shaky. Her first article was in 2004 in the Evening Standard, the remaining few were spotty, then she wrote a book.
Now also on her VITA is an entry that to the uninformed mind looks impressive, she is an editor at large at the TIMES, which Times I am not certain, but an editor in large means she is still subject to the direction and oversight of chief editors and executive editors, she may come up with ideas for other writers to research and write. "At large" means as an editor she has no specific assignments, but rather works on whatever interests her. Further she could be that valuable that the publication she works at thinks she is very talented or they simply need another editor in a very large pool of journalists and have no specific place to put her so they plunge her into that pool of journalists within the publication.
Based on her body of work I don't think she is in the valuable sector - Piers Morgan is in the valuable sector.
I do think she she consciously created this controversial book as an effort to stir the pot and get some notoriety, I hope it doesn't blow up in her face - this is either a brilliant move when it comes to self promotion or the biggest mistake of her short career.
Not sure she what sort of research she has done into monarchies. Even a high schooler can pick a famous or infamous monarch off the top of their head who were perverse in private life, downright ruthless in their politics but quite successful throughout their monarchy. Or not -  the unsuccessful ones often endured the consequences of an ineffectual reign. This is the inherent risk of a monarchy and why people all over the world are not supportive of a monarchy in their country. In modern England the Monarchy does not have free reign to rule and if they are not good leaders in the interest of the country, Parliament strongly influences through one means or another
So I can only shake my head and say to Catherine Mayer, choose your battles better and hope it works out for you.

Prince Charles 'understands limitations' of Crown
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-31135061

Terrorism - Be Aware of Global Events in Our Changing World

When my children were still at home I had to limit my news viewing to morning news shows mainly for weather etc. at that time, mid 70's throughout the 80's the news was full of kidnappings and murders and other violence in the cities. A kidnapping then usually did not end well and although they are still horrific the Amber alert system increases the odds of being found alongside another phenomena non custodial parental kidnapping which for the most part does not cause physical harm (but that occasionally does happen with a distraught parent). Predator kidnappings, and deaths, are way down from the 70's, 80's and 90's. My children were very young when little Etan Patz was abducted in 1979, one photo looked so much like my Jason that it frightened me to death. Shortly after the news of this child's abduction Jason decided to take walk while I was busy doing chores, last I checked he had been fast asleep, taking a nap. He never left the block but was playing in a copse of woods at the point of our triangular block. I had taken him to play there before and he would get lost in fantasy. So lost that the people searching for him could not find him. Not until he decided to check out the police cars with their sirens and flashing lights and the dogs. Out from the dark woods came a smiling 6 yo boy with golden curls bubbling over with questions about the dogs and the cars. He had been playing Star Wars in a "fort". They radioed the policewoman who was doing her best to keep me calm as I clutched my toddler Travis for those excruciating 30 minutes. Jason didn't realize he did anything to make me worry. Fortunately he never did it again but then when we were in the front yard so they could ride their vehicles on our private road they were never out of my sight. If I had to grab something inside they all came in with me. Kidnappings and murders abounded when they were growing up. Little Adam Walsh, Johnny Gosch, Eloise Worledge, Steven Staynor who was kept in captivity and rescued little Tim White after escaping from his captor. A year before Anthony, my Gson, was born little Ben Needham was abducted and, after Anthony was born, we all watched a toddler being abducted by two young boys who later murdered him. Courtesy of mall cameras and both young boys are free today with new names and location unknown. And those are just the few I remember. 
I lived in New York until August of 1980 and there were always reports of violent mugging and murders. Nashville was not so different as were other states and countries I travelled to for business in those years. I found the news was so awful that I HAD to limit myself to avert the increasing anxiety I felt regarding my childrens' safety and I did not wish to be overprotective or paranoid. The wonderful world of being a child was disappearing by the time Anthony was born - few children played outside. Playgroups were formed, playgrounds were empty and I know of a few that are now dog parks. Parents welcomed the advent of computer games and game consoles because the children were safer. And of course they came with other problems such as online pedophiles and obesity to name two. 
But with vigilance a parent could do a good job of protecting their children. And a person with the same caution could protect themselves and their property as well. Constant reminders I did not need back then. Once a day was enough reinforcement. 
Now crime in most cities and child abductions by predators and strangers are down significantly. My trip back home to NYC was wonderful - the city was clean and safe, relatively. And the people were friendlier as well, they no longer feared that a stranger only spoke to them to rip them off or other suspect intentions. 
Back to the 70's to 90's - the is the era of some of the most horrific abductions and murders by individual US citizens with personal motivations: in some cities the worst era in their histories. 
But as those horrors started to recede due to technology and tougher sentences, came Sept 11 2001. And the world watched with utter horror. I was recuperating from a recent surgery and was up very early watching from a rented hospital bed in my bedroom when one of the announcers mentioned something happening at the WTC. Then our world changed and crime took a horrible turn. 
I also began leaving a news channel on at random times. Even if the sound was off while playing music, visiting with friends, reading, studying or even just for background noise. I leave it on for the dogs when I leave the house. I am no longer in fear of possible anxiety (which never was able to manifest, fortunately) due to the fear of possible harm to my children on a local level. 
It is out of caution and preparedness that I have no fear of news. Forewarned is forearmed. Since the murders in France Jan 7th 2015 terrorism as been ramped up. This tragedy has spawned more tragedies and deaths and many countries and states are at their highest alert status ever. And for good reason. Brave people came out in support of their freedoms these terrorist want to annihilate but violent anti freedom protests have also reared their heads. Terrorists seem not deterred from deaths of their comrades but enabled - a reinforcement of their jihad. 
So watch the news. Learn all you can and be vigilant. Do not feel safe in the rhetoric about Muslim Islamic Terrorists being just a tenth of all Muslims - or any other arbitrary numbers based on questionable statistics. There are 1.6 Muslims in the world. About 25% of the world's population. Remember this when you do the math. For example 10% is 160,000 people. The U.S. has approx. 113, 8044 Troops. Many already deployed elsewhere.
Another thing, is consider your source. Glen Beck and Fox are not the source you want to believe, they put radical Islamics at 10%. CNN’s Fareed Zakaria says approx 6%. Or 96,000 radical extremist Muslims but this does not mean they are all Islamic terrorists. This will be covered in the upcoming State of the Union address. Watch it. All those statements I just said are reasons why one should read and watch the news, from various sources. Check your sources as well. Of course you do not have to be glued to the media - and despite what I said I am not lol. I live my life as everyone should theirs but I want to remain well informed. 
If you had not seen it I suggest you watch "This Week with George Stephanopoulis" - the one that aired today. You can catch it online at ABC.com or on YouTube. It is an eye opener.
This Week With George Stephanopoulos 2015-01/18 US, Europe Cracks Down On Terror Suspects